Sangular

Hello sweeties,

Today, lipstick post.

I have a confession to make : I’m a lipstick addict. I have tens and tens of lipsticks, mainly red ones. I started to have this lipstick interest when I got to uni. Before that, I was wearing heavy black kohl on my eyes and that was all (sham gothic thing). Then, I bought a lipstick once, just to try (and because it was on sale ha). And it actually suited me and that’s how it became my make-up signature. At this period, I could go out without anything on my face, as long as I was wearing red lipstick (now my priority is my eyebrows, but I’ll talk about that another time).
 Then I became blonde and it totally changed my way to make up. I used to be convinced that the make-up for blonde/make-up for brunette thing was bullshit. But it actually isn’t. I had to leave my red lipsticks because it didn’t suit me anymore. And now that I’m a brunette again, I rediscover the pleasure to wear some.

For 2-3 years, I was a M.A.C Russian Red aficionado. That was the Holy-Grail lipstick, the perfect one, the one that I was going to wear the rest of my life.
But 2 months ago I received Illamasqua Sangers thanks to a Juste Sublime contest. And I changed my mind.

Sangers 1 © Wina

I’m a big fan of the packaging

Sangers 2 © WinaSangers 3 © Wina

The pigmentation is wonderful. There’s no need to apply coats and coats of lipstick to have a nice rendering.
Sangers is a true red. It’s not tending to be raspberry, contrary to what the following pictures may make it seem. It’s neither what I could call a warm red. Note that Sangers is more yellow undertoned than Russian Red. The colour isn’t dark or light. On the website, it’s said that it’s a blood red, but it actually isn’t that dark and browny. It’s the perfect femme fatale red.

Sangers 4 © WinaI’d say it’s a semi-creamy lipstick. The texture is kind of creamy, which permits a great application, but the rendering is not as greasy as a real creamy lipstick would do.
The resistance is really good. Not as good as a matte lipstick of course, but it does the job though.

Sangers 5 © WinaThis is my first Illamasqua product and I’m thrilled with it. I’ve heard a lot of good things about the brand before and I must say that, yes, it’s quality. Long live my new favourite red lipstick!

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The First Days of Spring

Hello sweeties,

Yeepee, Spring! Spring and rain. Less yeepee. But yeepee anyway because I did my first *real* nail art thing.

FDOS 1 © Wina

That’s not the neatest work in the world, but I feel pretty proud about it. I thought it would look worse ha. It’s not too bad after all.

FDOS 2 © Wina

Here’s the steps for those happy feeling nails :
– Base with All in one from Essie
– 3 coats (yes, 3) of Muted Lavender from NYX
– Cloudy effect with white nail polish applied with a make up sponge
– Branches drawn with a thin brush and black nail polish + Smoldering from NYX to soften (but you can barely see it, meh)
– Flowers done with dots of white nail polish, Nude Peach from NYX and St-Tropez from Mavala for the pinks
– Topcoat with Good to go from Essie

Et voilà.

FDOS 3 © WinaYup, this thumb is my pride.

You’re now ready to watch Noah and The Whale’s film for The First Days of Spring, their best album. One of the best on Earth ever, actually.

The pain of being anxious

Ok, warning sign. The following lines are going to be very personal. If you don’t want to hear me whimper, press Alt +F4 and come back next week. Really. This is all going to be annoying anxiety crisis shit. And if you’re down and you need comfort (in some way), take a seat.

Once, I said here that maybe someday I’d be posting something about feeling bad and stuff. There we go. I know that it might be inappropriate. This is a very personal issue that none but myself should know about. Slanderous tongues might say that I’m making a spectacle of myself. And they’re probably right. Because I need the attention. Because I don’t feel like I want/can talk about it to a specific person. But I need to speak up. Because it’s eating me from the inside and writing it down is my kind of therapy. I’ve never been very good at talking. I always avoid debates and embarrassing talks, because I just can’t control myself from crying in those situations. High sensitivity problems. Hypersensitivity problems even, I think.

So yes, I need to speak up. To speak up about how I feel right now. And it’s not good. I cried all day long. Yey. Great atmosphere. I cried because of lot of things. But mainly because I feel insecure. Most of the time, I can handle that. I live with that and it’s ok. And sometimes, the pressure is so unbearable that I suddenly burst into tears.

I am afraid. All the time. Anytime. I am anxious. I fear loneliness. And I accept loneliness. I know that I am alone. That we all are. But I feel the need to hope, to have the illusion that maybe we are not. If several people feel lonely at the same time, are they still lonely, even if they don’t even know the existence of each other? That type of hope.

I can’t stand feeling abandoned. Even for stupid things, like when we’re going at the cinema, and I’m late, and they say “we’ll be waiting for you inside and keep you a seat”. It makes me want to cry. I know it’s selfish, but I need them to wait for me so that we could go all together in the theater. Yes, I fear loneliness that much. Told you it was stupid. But I need it. Or I instantly feel attacked, I withdraw into myself, I have a heavy heart and I start an anxiety crisis.

I need to feel reassured all the time. I need family/friends/love to tell me all the time that I am great or more than that. I need approval. Attention whore? Probably. Low self-esteem? For sure. I need the kind words. I need the encouragement. I need people to be tolerant at their highest point. There’s just one word to be said or not said, one move to be done or not done, and it’s all fucked up.

The saddest thing is that I know where all that comes from and I don’t manage to defeat my demons. Which of course makes me feel worse. I try. I try so hard. Or maybe don’t I? Maybe I’m too weak. Maybe I’m actually all wrong about it and I’m just being psychotic. Maybe I shouldn’t fight and accept this statement instead, because I actually can’t change it. Whatever the answer is, I always end up with an anxiety crisis. My head burns, my body shakes, my eyes impersonate the Niagara falls, I have difficulties to breath, I sometimes am nauseous and I feel like I’m going to explode in thousand pieces.

You see the ending of those big crisis thing : Life ruined. Self-destruction tendency. Well, nothing physical. I mean, no voluntary physical injure. I suspect this constant anxiety of affecting my physical health though. I’m always sick. When I’m not, it’s like something extraordinary just happened. They almost give me a slap on the back when I’m in good health. But apart from that, the self-destruction rather concerns my social life. I withdraw into myself, almost lapsing into silence. I stop talking, build an armor of silence and start to lose contact with the world. I also lose appetite and sleep. Thus, I lose concentration and motivation. I spend my days asking myself the same questions, and one in particular : “when did it go wrong?”. For days. For weeks. For months.

I’m tired, but I still try to relieve myself of it.

Burning hands

Hello sweeties,

Yeeey! A post about NAILS! YEEEY!

oh yeaaah
I really missed talking about beauty. If you guys knew, if you knew. Hope that the rain and the snow will soon stop falling over here, so that the light comes back, so that I could take some pics, so that I could show you my new beauty babies. YES, I’m super excited about this idea.

So, what do we have for today? The *new* UNE nail polish collection.

UNE nailpolish 1 © WinaThey’re out since January, but I didn’t have the time to blog and stuff (understand “lazy”).

I own the shade C09. Look at this colour. A beauty. It’s a red-brown, very warm, chic and distinguished. I was quite surprised at the application, I didn’t expect such a wonderful colour. In the bottle, it looks like there’s a hint of white in it, but it’s not so obvious once on the nails. The result is fantastic, after 2 coats the colour is perfectly unified and shiny. 

UNE nailpolish 2 © Wina

There’s no topcoat. Can you believe that?

It dries pretty quickly and the resistance is good. The brush is wonderful, very easy and practical to use. And last but not least, the composition is mainly of natural origin, which makes the smell less strong than usual nail polishes.

I am honestly thrilled about it, this is for sure one of my favourite nail polish, not only by the colour, but by the whole product.
But just one thing : what the hell is this opening system? This might be  little to *original* for me. I really don’t see the point of having a cap that you have to pull off to get access to the brush. Putting some high-tech or whatever is cool, but make it useful (hey! It rhymes!). This is something that really upsets me. Plus, I guess that a classic opening system would have lower the price of the nail polish.

Apart from that, it’s all perfect. It’s a little expensive to me, count about 13€ for a bottle, but it’s quite worth it.

UNE nailpolish 3 © Wina

Sweetness

Hello sweeties,

I’m back, eventually!

Yesterday I went to the cinema and watched Searching for Sugar Man, the documentary about Rodriguez’s incredible story. I didn’t know the artist yet but the summary my friend did about the film really intrigued me.
A guy, Sixto Rodriguez, records two albums in the early 70’s USA and it’s a flop. It doesn’t sell. And by some fortune, it’s an unbelievable success in South Africa. They don’t know anything about the guy, except that it’s said that he killed himself. Fascinating, isn’t it?

I believe that most of the people who saw the documentary are Rodriguez’s fans. I wasn’t. But for those who are in the same case than me, you guys should definitely go watch it, it’s absolutely worth it. There’s a freaking twist in the middle of the film. I was like :

wut
I also learned a lot about South Africa. My knowledge on this country is close to the void. Of course, like everyone on Earth, I’ve heard of the apartheid period. But what do I really know? Nothing actually. It was very interesting to know more about it. I was really surprised about the impact that Rodriguez had on South Africa’s history. And I guess he was too when he knew it!

The whole story is so incredible that it’s hard to believe. You almost wish that it’s not true as it’s too wonderful. I really felt in love with the story. It represents Humanity’s magic, what people could do for the love of music and how beautiful people might be (apart from the cruelty of music industry, meh).

And of course, the soundtrack is fantastic. I’m listening to Cold Fact and Coming From Reality on repeat since yesterday. I have to say I rather like Cold Fact though. Sugar Man is probably my fav song. Not a very original choice, but I really find this track powerful. When he sings the first line, I feel like an instant sorrow is invading me, but it’s not a *bad* sorrow, if you see what I mean. It’s just something intense that makes you want to cry, but the tears don’t come up.

It’s still on display in Paris, France. I don’t know if it’s the case wherever you guys are, but it is, go to the goddamn cinema.